Have I told you about my habit before? Hmm.. I sometime fall into a big and dark hole called sadness. I could be very depressive. And this time, I am. I feel angry this time. It hit me so hard in the head and it turned out to be a major sadness in the last couple of hours.
Somehow I wished I was blind and I didn’t see anything sadden me. But it doesn’t seem wise to wish my self to be blind. I know blind people must be very grateful if they can see the world. No.. not only blind people thought that seeing the world is a precious thing.. Normal people would have the same idea.
But..forget about what’s wise and not wise. Who cares? I don’t. I considered, but I don’t think I need that consideration. I got hurt. Deeply.
Am I a normal person? Or less?
Do having expectation was the root of most sadness?
Should I numb myself and kill every small expectation to keep my self away from this dark hole?
Do I deserve happiness?
Where is it?
Is happiness nothing more than a state of mind?
What if I set my mind into a mindless mind?
What should we have to live beside a breathing living body?
I’m tired of life at the moment. What should I do?
Should I talk to somebody?
Who? Should I have somebody to talk with?
Then what’s the topic I should talk to?
Can somebody get everything he/she wants in this life? I don’t think so…
It’s so cold..